Hating my eyes today

SO... ya.. I don't talk about my eyes often... It doesn't come up :)

I was born with bilateral Congenital Cataracts -  translation?  Old people eyes at birth in both eyes >.<  lol not EXACTLY true lol...  I have a film growing on my lens in both of my eyes.  It WAS getting brown in color, but now it's clear... but it's still there and has spread.

I'm one of the rare ones whose brain interprets the cataracts as "dots" all over the place.  The best way I can describe it is comparing it to the old TV's.   Remember when the TV channel came in staticy?  All the white dots?  That's how I see.  I can tune it out and it's not as harsh as the TV... it's somewhat see-through-able for me.  Some people don't see the cataracts ... the brain ignores that they are there.  I'm weird I guess :)   But then, if you know me... you already know that HAHAH!!!

So, when you see a glare ball... I see part of a glare ball... the other part is blacked out in the shape of my cataracts.  They're a snowflake pattern right across the center of my lens.  Pretty hard to ignore.  If I go out in bright sun... I can't see well.  It's SO much light.  It gets bounced around in my eyes and it HURTS!!!!  LUCKILY, polarized sunglasses helps me to see well enough.  Since I only have a very slight Astigmatism in one eye... so my eyes are perfectly able to see otherwise - thanks be...  SO, ya, I can still drive.  But I don't put myself in a position where I'm driving to places I don't know w/o  GOOD landmarks.  I like to be ultra careful.  I can't read street signs on the older, smaller signs... The new ones are great!  

I don't drive far at night... I'll stay within a mile - just far enough to get groceries, if I've need and forgot something and have to go back out to get it cuz i'm baking or whatever... or go to the theater - I volunteer at the local community theater (acting/stage - not movie).

I'm trying to train my dog to be a guide dog.  She's almost 3 years old.  She's a redbone coonhound/boxer mix.  She's still learning and I'm hard on her to be there for me.  Don't worry... she gets rewarded with treats and hugs and scratches.   She's a sweetie!!!   BUT when the light was out at the theater parking and I left late at night.... I couldn't see ANYTHING.  I wasn't expecting it and I HATE when I'm caught off guard like that.  Just total blindness... I froze and thought, "CRAP!  I need my dog!!!!"  I will have to start bringing her around the theater to get her used to it...   When the kids are there, though, I think she'll still want to play, play, play....  She'll need to learn that the theater is a "work" place and not a "play" place.

I will have to buy her that harness for the blind and a "working - please don't pet me" vest...   Poor Mitzie...   She'll get even more treats, though.  We're going to need to walk more, so she doesn't get fat (ter....)  >.>  

Right, so.... That's my eyes in a nut shell.  Ew.. sounds gory hehe...

What's kinda neat is when I take a look at a glare ball up close... I can see individual cataract dots... they overlap... it's weird.   You know what I should do?  I should paint what they look like!!!  :)  

But ya... my eyes get tired fast and sometimes people chat in IMs to me SO FAST and I can't keep up because it's hard for me to read.  I need larger text on the screen.  Some people are down right inconsiderate about it.  I'll ask them to slow down a little or to video chat with me instead and they refuse.  

Now, I'm not holding everyone in the "rude" column lol....  Just the people who I KNOW know about my eyes ...   But if I'm asking for video chat... NORMALLY it's because my eyes are KILLING me - tired eyes/unable to focus well on the text and they are aching.  

I HATE having to do research on the internet these days.  Mostly because it involves long hours squinting at the computer screen... and I have the wrinkle line between my brows to prove it >.< I hate that crease!!   

"Why not use the polarized lenses to read the monitor?" You ask?  Ya... tried that... polarized lens +  screen = Rainbow trippyness lol...  NOT productive to viewing anything ... other than rainbows... it's like seeing a puddle with oil on top ... 

Anyway... just felt like sharing :)

Hope you're all doing well :)